Dictionary of Upbringing children
As you sow, so shall you reap. To gain respect from your children first you must respect your own elders in front of them (Thatha - Manavadu Concept). Not only that you have to respect each other too. We tend to take for granted that respecting each other is about enslaving each other. We consider that respect is what we give to an authority figure, because we need to be in their good looks. However, that is not respect, but disrespect since it is not something genuine.
Respect towards elders or any person, as a matter of fact is about honoring or holding in esteem an individual. It implies regarding an individual as a person of value and virtue. We all expect respect from others. But then do we actually respect others? For instance, because we are adults we tend to take our parents for granted. We tend t o get irritated by every suggestion they make simply because we think that we can never be wrong. We then admonish them or ignore them. We do not realize that our children copy or rather mimic us. They then treat us the same way.
Apart from this even the way we address the servants, is the way our children will address them too. While your servant is hired by you and you have every right to give them orders the way you want, realize that they are still elders for your children. When you ill-treat or talk with disrespect to your servant, your child does the same thing.
It is vital to teach your child how to respect each individual, in order for him or her to command his or her own respect. And it all begins with you as a parent. Another aspect we overlook is also the way we talk about people in front of our children. For instance, when we bad-mouth somebody in front of our children, they overhear our conversation, disrespect that person and put us into an embarrassing situation. So it is very vital that we watch our own actions and words in the presence of our children, otherwise it will spell trouble not only for us, but also for them, as there would be nothing beyond disrespect in the dictionary of upbringing.Teaching your child about honesty
Let us see firstly, why one needs to tell a lie at all. A person usually lies due to fear. The fear of telling the truth as that could get them into trouble. For instance, a child breaks a glass and his mother is very strict. When asked who broke it, the child would deny having broken it because he fears being shouted at or beaten. But, if the mother understands and not hot-tempered, the same child would fearlessly admit to his mistake.
The habit of lying begins with such small incidents and progresses into the more serious lies spoken. The more the child fears his parents, the more the lies he would continue to speak at every stage, only because he fears admitting what he has done wrong. And like each drop makes the ocean, each mistake amounts to the larger mistakes, till there maybe no turning back.
To be able to inculcate in your child the virtue of honesty in the first place you have to be more patient and understanding with your child. After all it is only human to err. If your child has made a certain mistake for the first or second time then patiently explain to them the wrong of it. However, if it is done the third time then strictly put across your viewpoint. In this way your child will consider you their best friend and confide in you no matter what it maybe. Remember respect and honesty from them does not come out of enforcing your authority as a parent, but your patience and understanding as a parent.Teaching a child generosity
Selflessness is a virtue of humanity and selfishness is that of inhumanity. This can be further explained by drawing the difference between a patriot and terrorism. A patriot sacrifices his life for the sake of his country. He gives up all he has for the sake of others. On the other hand the terrorist takes the lives of others for the sake of a cause. Selflessness in about giving and selfishness is about taking.
Generosity is an offshoot of selflessness. It is the virtue of bringing a smile onto other peoples faces. According to what the Spiritual Leaders profess, the more you give, the more you get. What does this mean? The connotation or meaning of this statement is simple; we can only fill what is always empty. How can we fill more water into a glass full of it. Obviously we have to fist empty it to fill it up again. Similarly in life we have to give out more in order to fill our coffers. And this is something we need to teach our children.
One way in which we can effectively teach our children the virtue of generosity is be making it a point to visit home for underprivileged children and donating things. One effective practice could be to donate your kid’s old clothes and toys every year on his/her birthday. What you could do is sit down with your child and together sort out what can be given away, seeing that it is not the absolutely torn and tattered objects, but those that can still be used by the underprivileged children. Make your child distribute these by themselves. They will surely feel a sense of achievement and fulfillment having made these children happy. After doing that as a birthday treat take him/her shopping to purchase new clothes and toys.
In this way the child learns to give and even understands that in some form or the other there is a replacement for all that he give out from the smiles and gratefulness from the receivers to the gifts he receives in return. To teach him generosity it is vital to reimburse it with a sense of fulfillment not only in terms of material gains, but more so emotional.Teaching your child trust
It has often been said that you can only trust others when you trust yourself completely. Only they will have high self esteem and self confidence. Otherwise trusting others is one of the most difficult things to do. Thus it is important to teach children to trust themselves. And for this as a parent you need to keep reassuring them.
Reward them & appreciate them for every right and punish them gently for every wrong. Sometimes as parents we are so driven by the need to bring out the best in our children that we overlook whatever right they do, but are extremely quick to reprimand their wrongs. And this is where they lose their confidence. This is where they are unable to bring up their levels of self-esteem. .
When you acknowledge their achievements, no matter how big or small, they have faith in you; simply because they know that you are with them at every step. They will develop faith in anyone who stands by them like a shadow. Be there to hold their hand. There are certain incidents in childhood that work best to inculcate trust in your child. One for example is when your toddler is taking his first steps. The little one when walking looks towards you and what you must do is wait at such a distance that he makes every attempt the first couple of steps and yet in case he is about to fall you can catch him on time.
Like this even in other activities like cycling and swimming, you have to be there as a buffer for your child so that he knows that you will help him lest he falls or he feels he will drown and yet, he builds up the self-confidence to cycle or swim without your help. It is only in the formative years that we can teach our child how to trust others by teaching them how to trust us. And in all this lies the most important virtue of self-trust.Courtesy: indiachild.com
Voting opportunities to NRIs
NRIs hailing from the five poll-bound states will be able to vote in the elections for the first time but they will have to be physically present in their place of origin to exercise their franchise.
The Election Commission has already issued guidelines for enrolment of names of NRIs in the rolls after holding several rounds of discussions with the ministries of External Affairs and Overseas Indian Affairs.
"Citizens of India living abroad, who have not acquired the citizenship of any other country, can make an application in Form 6A directly to the Electoral Registration Officer (ERO) of the constituency within which the place of residence of the applicant as given in the valid passport, falls," Overseas Indian Affairs Minister Vayalar Ravi said.
According to earlier rules, an NRI''s name gets deleted from the voters'' list if he or she stays outside the country for over six months at a stretch.
Grant of voting rights has been a long standing demand of nearly 11 million NRIs and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had promised the community early last year that their demand will be met by the government.
Representation of People (Amendment) Act, 2010 has allowed an Indian citizen residing abroad to enrol in voter''s list and exercise his franchise even if he or she remained away from the place of residence in India for more than six months owing to employment, education or otherwise.
"The eligible NRIs will be able to vote in the upcoming assembly polls in five states," said an Election Commission official.
For enrolment of names in voters'' list, an NRI can go to an ERO in person or send by post his application to the ERO concerned. A postal application must be accompanied by copies of the passport and some other documents duly attested by an officer of the Indian Mission in the country concerned.
The officials said the decision of the ERO on application of an overseas voter will be communicated to the applicant by post on his address in the foreign country stated by him in the application and also by SMS on the mobile number given by him.
Although Parliament had in August last year passed the Representation of People (Amendment) Bill, 2010, to allow NRIs to vote in Indian elections, the process to finalise the norms took time due to initial differences between the government and the Election Commission.
